Your special life will have the lowest of the low and highest of the high. Do not expect to live a normal life. Period.
Which one gets the driver seat and which one gets the learner seat, is up to you to decide.
Once we get something we just want something else. Base your judgement on what you and the world 'need'.
No matter how hard we try, sometimes we get lost in the course of life. What matters the most understanding and accepting that you're lost, and striving to find your way back.
The more you worry, the more you elongate your suffering, the more time you need to heal. Have patience and all the suffering will disappear.